I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
