this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize