we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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