I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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