omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I came so hard my ears popped.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
