almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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