Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
