I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
