I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
