so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
