Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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