I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
