what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
