if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
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I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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