I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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