"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
