Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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