we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
