Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
