thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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