I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
