i was born a porn star she said
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
