then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
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Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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