Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
