If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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