Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This is the high leading the old right now
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
