My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
