You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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