I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Will exercising make me less horny?
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