If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
soo... how was my night?
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