this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
