Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
