moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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