Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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