____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize