I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she peed on how many people?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
