Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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