she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
