Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
