A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
