my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We had to coat check the pizza.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
