I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize