she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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