My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
