You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
