Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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