on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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