Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
