I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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