: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
