so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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