Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
