That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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