I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
