Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
