The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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